Practice: yàak, dtâwng and mâi dtâwng
What you will be able to do
Choose between อยาก, อยากได้, อยากให้, ต้องการ, เอา, ขอ, ต้อง and ควร from the counter you are standing at, and decline what is offered to you with ไม่ต้อง instead of reaching for a bare ไม่.
Wish, obligation and permission are three separate machines in Thai, and the English word want routes all of them wrongly. อยาก takes a verb and never a noun, so a thing needs อยากได้ and somebody else acting needs อยากให้ plus a person plus a verb. ต้องการ is the formal require, for forms, banks and immigration windows. เอา is the ordinary way to choose something and the politeness rides on ครับ or ค่ะ, not on the verb. ต้อง is must, ควร is should, and ไม่ต้อง cancels the necessity rather than the action, which is why it is the friendly decline and never the prohibition — that is ห้าม on signs and อย่า to a person.
Which one?
At a coffee stand you want to name the drink itself rather than the action of drinking it.
อยาก (yàak) only ever takes a verb, so a thing has to arrive through อยากได้ (yàak dâi), literally want to get. อยากกาแฟ is not Thai, and neither is อยากจะกาแฟ — slipping จะ in softens อยาก to something nearer would like to, but it does not release it from needing a verb. อยากให้ (yàak hâi) is a real shape, but it wants a person and then a verb, as in อยากให้คุณช่วย; put a drink straight after it and ให้ reads as give, so you have said you want to give somebody an iced coffee. If you would rather name the action, อยากกินกาแฟ works too.
How do you turn it down?
A neighbour insists on carrying your shopping up the stairs. You would rather she did not, and you want it to land warmly.
ไม่ต้อง (mâi dtâwng) says there is no need, and หรอก (ràwk) is the syllable that warms it, which is exactly what you want from somebody going to trouble on your behalf. ไม่ต้องการครับ is the formal I do not require it, cold enough on a neighbour to read as a firm refusal. ไม่ควรครับ is advice, you shouldn't, and her own offer is not yours to advise on. ห้ามครับ is prohibited, the word off the signs, and aimed at a person holding your bags it is close to an order. ไม่เป็นไรครับ (mâi bpen rai khráp) does the same warm job from another angle, and the two are often said together.
What has the doctor told the patient?
ไม่ต้องกินยา
ไม่ต้อง negates the necessity, not the action, so this releases the patient from taking the medicine. A doctor forbidding it needs ห้าม (hâam), and telling the patient directly not to take it needs อย่า (yàa) — that gap is close to the opposite of what ไม่ต้อง says, and it is the misreading that matters most in this lesson. Advising against it, ought not to, is ไม่ควร (mâi khuuan). Not yet is a different machine again, ยัง, and nothing in the sentence carries it.
Which question?
You are on a course of tablets and you want the pharmacist to tell you whether alcohol is off limits.
ห้าม (hâam) is prohibited, so ห้าม … ไหม is how you ask whether something is off limits. The ไม่ต้อง version asks whether drinking is unnecessary, which is a question nobody has an answer to, and it will get you a puzzled look rather than a warning. อย่า (yàa) is the spoken don't, an instruction you give a person; you cannot hang ไหม on it and get a question back. จำเป็นต้อง (jam-bpen dtâwng) is it is necessary to, so that one asks the pharmacist whether you are obliged to drink while on the tablets.
What does the sign say?
ต้องการพนักงาน
ต้องการ (dtâwng-gaan) is closer to require than to want, and on a door it advertises a vacancy. It is the register of forms, banks, hospital admin and immigration windows, which is also why it sounds like paperwork in a noodle shop. A prohibition would be built on ห้าม (hâam), the word on every no-parking and no-smoking sign in the country, and an instruction aimed at the reader would open with กรุณา (gà-rú-naa) or the more formal โปรด (bpròot). Neither word is here, and nothing in the sign restricts who may pass.
Which one?
You are asking a friend to give you a hand with something.
อยากให้ (yàak hâi) plus a person plus a verb is the shape for wanting somebody else to act, and หน่อย (nàwy) keeps the ask small. อยากช่วยครับ says you want to do the helping, which is the wrong way round. อยากได้ (yàak dâi) is for a thing you want to get and will not take a verb after it. ต้องช่วยครับ is ต้อง, must: it either reports your own obligation or presses one onto him, and neither is a request.
Which is the everyday way to put it?
A Thai colleague mentions she has had a cough for a fortnight, and you want to point her at a doctor without sounding as though you are telling her off.
…ดีกว่า (dii gwàa), literally that would be better, gives the advice without positioning you above the person hearing it, which is why you will hear it far more often than ควร. ไม่ควรไปหาหมอครับ advises the opposite, don't go. ผมควรไปหาหมอไหมครับ carries its own subject, so it asks about you and not about her — should I see a doctor. ไม่ต้องไปหาหมอครับ cancels the necessity, no need to go, which is again the opposite of your point. If you do reach for ควร, soften it with นะครับ or นะคะ, because bare ควร to an adult can land as criticism.
Which wording belongs on it?
A notice on a temple door telling visitors to take their shoes off.
กรุณา (gà-rú-naa) is the please of notices, what a sign asks of whoever reads it, and โปรด (bpròot) is its more formal twin. ขอ (khǎw) is what you ask on your own behalf, so ขอถอดรองเท้าหน่อย reads as one person asking leave to take his own shoes off. อย่า (yàa) is don't, so that notice forbids removing them. ไม่ต้อง (mâi dtâwng) says there is no need to, which tells visitors to keep their shoes on. English uses please for both asking and instructing; Thai keeps ขอ for the person and กรุณา for the notice.
What is being said about him?
เขาต้องรู้อยู่แล้ว
Like English must, ต้อง (dtâwng) also carries a confident guess, and อยู่แล้ว (yùu láew) is the supporting word that settles which reading you are getting — without it, เขาต้องรู้ could go either way, and a Thai speaker would add something rather than leave it hanging. So the obligation reading is the one to let go of here. Ought to is ควร (khuuan), advice rather than deduction, and a prohibition would need ห้าม (hâam); neither word is in the sentence.
You do not have to. Which answer?
ต้องไปไหมครับ
Thai has no all-purpose no, so a ไหม question is answered by handing back the verb it was built on, with ไม่ in front when the answer is no. This one contains ต้อง, so it comes back as ต้องครับ or ไม่ต้องครับ. ไม่ควรครับ answers a question built on ควร, about what is advisable. ไม่ได้ครับ answers one ending in ได้ไหม, about permission or possibility. ไม่เอาครับ refuses an object, and no object was put in front of you.
Which question?
You are at the till and you want to know whether the shop takes cards.
…ได้ไหม (dâi mǎi) after the verb asks whether a thing is possible or allowed, and ด้วย (dûay) is what makes the card the means of payment. Drop ด้วย and จ่ายบัตร reads as paying off a card bill, so the first one asks whether you may settle your credit card there. อยากจ่ายบัตรไหมครับ turns it round and asks the cashier whether she would like to pay hers. ต้องจ่ายด้วยบัตรไหมครับ asks whether you are obliged to use the card, which already assumes they take them, so it cannot be the question that finds out. The answer you get back is ได้ครับ or ไม่ได้ครับ.
What does he say to you?
You have left the car on the pavement outside a bank and a security guard is walking towards you.
…ไม่ได้ tacked onto the verb is the everyday spoken you can't, and it is the line a guard actually uses; ห้ามจอด is the same message written on the sign behind him. ไม่อยากจอดตรงนี้ครับ reports that he himself does not fancy parking there. จอดตรงนี้ได้ไหมครับ is your question going the other way, asking whether you may, not his answer. ไม่ต้องจอดตรงนี้ครับ cancels a necessity, there is no need to park here, which grants rather than refuses.
How does this land on the vendor?
เอาอันนี้ครับ
เอา (ao) means take, and choosing things with it is completely ordinary: เอาอันนี้ (ao an-níi), เอาสองที่ (ao sǎwng thîi), เอากลับบ้าน (ao glàp bâan). The politeness is not carried by the verb at all, it is carried by ครับ or ค่ะ on the end and by your face, so this is normal and polite. It only sounds like a demand to an English ear reading a bare imperative. Over-formal would be ต้องการ (dtâwng-gaan), which belongs on paperwork rather than over a food tray. And it is not vague either, because อันนี้ with a finger pointing is exactly how a choice is made at a counter. If you still feel uneasy, ขอ (khǎw) is the gentler route for small requests.
Which one fits?
Your friend has had an upset stomach all morning and is reaching for the papaya salad.
ไม่ควร (mâi khuuan) is the ordinary way to advise against something without forbidding it, which is the job a friend has here. ไม่อยากกินเผ็ดตอนนี้ reports a wish rather than advice, and with no subject it lands as I don't fancy spicy food right now, which says nothing about what she should do. อยากกินเผ็ดตอนนี้ says that you want the spicy food. ต้องกินเผ็ดตอนนี้ says she has to eat it. A real prohibition would need ห้าม (hâam), which belongs to rules and signs rather than to a friend across a table, and you can soften ไม่ควร with นะครับ or นะคะ, or swap it for …ดีกว่า.
Common mistake
Two things. อยาก with a noun bolted straight onto it: อยากกาแฟ is not Thai. And ไม่ต้อง read as the negative of must — ไม่ต้องกินยา tells a patient there is no need to take the medicine, which is close to the opposite of forbidding it.
Next: Want, need and must